CONFESSION! My husband denied me s3x so I went to another man.

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We have been using natural family planning methods which worked for a while but then I conceived our third child. My husband panicked and he opted to avoid sex rather than put me on any family planning method. I sometimes thought he wasn’t attracted to me anymore over time even my self esteem went down. I reconnected with this good friend of mine and shared with him the things I was going through. Over time, I developed feelings for him and we even got intimate. I felt bad about this and blame myself for being weak and unable to control myself but I also blame my husband for leading me to other men. My husband now knows about this and we have had really fought because of this. I am now in love with this guy but then again, I don’t want to break my family. Please advise me on what I can do about this…{Rose}

Your Take:

You will just have to be honest with your husband, own up, apologize and share your frustrations with him. If this is not possible, use his closest friend as a mediator. The dangerous thing with old flames is that they may be deceptively warmer and have you drift farther and farther away. You must end this immediately. There is the real prospect of death in the relationship.

{Tasma Charles}

Family planning research has tended to assume women’s primacy as decision makers regarding contraceptive method choice, although male prerogative and control are receiving increasing attention.

Better decision making about available family planning methods requires a complete understanding of each others’ needs as well as fears. Talk to him and make him understand your needs. You need your husband as much as he needs you. Be careful not to bruise his ego but talk to him often

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