I Wish I Had Aborted My Son

I have a 15yo son who is severely autistic. Despite all the therapies, medications, etc. he will never become an independent functional adult. My husband and I are only together because my son needs the both of us and yet it is the stress of my son that destroyed our marriage. I had to give up a career to be his caregiver. While other kids his age are going on group dates, dances, etc. he likes to play with stuff animals. I cringe when I think about when he gets older.
I am getting older and it is not getting easier. Obviously I love my son, but I wished that I had aborted him. Oh and there is nothing reassuring when parents with non-special needs or functional kids or even childless people lecturing me on how having a low-functioning kid is a gift from God.

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