Serious Confession| How I B@nged Victoria Kimani’s Cousin


There was a time when Victoria Kimani was my celebrity crush. I even wrote her this love letter. But then the her beef with Ghafla came up and I never got to tap that. Luckily though, I got to strike closer to home. I banged her cousin called Koi that I had met on Tinder. It started off like any other interaction. Initially, I didn’t even know she was Victoria’s cousin.

If you are a guy, you know that looking for women on Tinder is a thankless business unless you are a really handsome dude with a killer fashion sense. Or unless you swipe right on the less attractive chics that are desperate for some attention. The conversion rate is very low for us normal guys, meaning you can only get laid after swiping right on like 50 chics.

Despite the difficulties I was still eager to figure out how to get more lays on Tinder. I posted a cool picture of myself in a suit, standing next to a Mercedes that wasn’t mine, then on my bio I wrote ‘Journalist at Forbes Africa’. It worked like magic.

I got several matches but since Koi was the hottest of them all, it was in my best interest to pursue her first. I asked for her number then called her for three straight evenings without fail before finally asking her out.

However, It took two dates, spread across three weeks to convince Koi to come over to my place.. She was a classy chic who apparently had a very busy life. She worked during the days and went for evening classes at dusk.

Initially, Koi was resistant to my flirtatious conversations but as days passed by, she warmed up to my texting prowess and agreed to have se@x with me


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